She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
