dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
