Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
