i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
