The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
