I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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