i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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