Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
