found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
