I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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