Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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