So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
