Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
