My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
