Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
