He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
