remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
