yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize