I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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