Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Too much gin, very little bucket
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
