let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We had sex on a dog bed..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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