and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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