Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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