Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
