Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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