I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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