I just made out with a guy for $7.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize