Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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