Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize