God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
