Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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