So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize