Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
