She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
