I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
