Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
