grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They have beer where we have blood.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
