I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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