Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
its not stalking. its research.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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