It's Friday. Sex?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
