scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
