JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
do nipples grow back?
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