Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
