HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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