...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
