I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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