I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
