don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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