can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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