okay pat passed out under dana's car
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
