In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
