so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Randomize
