I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
