did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
