i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
