I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
