My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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