Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
