Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
