Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
