I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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