We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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