you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
