Already got asked if we're dating
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
