why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
